Ok yall, its been a minute, but the funniest things have been happening & I have not had the time to sit down long enough to tell you about them! (sorry) I will do better!
Ok, so, PICTURE IT... I'm on my bus, regular route but a different day... I approached a stop on Harrison around California... I see a lot of familiar faces, but one I had never seen before was standing out there looking like a character off of the Starsky & Hutch show (memba that? lol)! I had to do a doubletake to see if it was Huggie Bear! Could have passed for Lenny off of Good Times or Romie Rome from Martin! OMG, LMBO! His hair looked just like a sweated out perm, reminded me of James Brown after one of his shows! If you don't know any of these people I am referring to then this might not seem funny to you at all! But if you do, then you should be crackin the heck up as you picture this whole scenario!
This dude gets on stumbling, I give him the old head nod & quarter of a smile cuz I'm trying to figure out what he on... he fumblin for his fare, staggering & trying to hold on to an umbrella & an open cup of coffee all at the same time! He stands closer to me as to allow other passengers to get by. RED FLAG! GIMME 3 FEET! YOU'RE IN MY COMFORT ZONE!!! 9-1-1 LOL! I said (pointing) "Sir, you can sit your things OVER THERE on that counter so you can hold on while looking for your fare, the bus is about to move & I don't want you to fall!" Dude turns & looks up at me (cuz I sits high & looks low-lol) he skinnin & grinnin like a cheshire cat as if to say aww you care bout me lol! OMG! His gold teeth were tarnished so badly that I wanted to give him some CLR to clean them & he smelled like moled, very old Old Spice! Ugggh! I'm gaggin ova here, eeeew!!! I'm trying to greet everyone else to the best of my ability! I know they was wondering why dude was standing right there, cuz I sholl was wondering the same thing! My face was trying to smile, but my forehead had those worried wrinkles & my smile looked as if I was 'bout to cry! LOL Are you freakin picturin this? OMG! He finally found the transit card & put it in, "THANK YOU, now don't forget your coffee & umbrella... go on now & have a seat sir, so you don't fall" I said. He sat in the first seat behind me! Gee... great! Its cold outside & I HAVE to have the heat on, but I also HAVE to have that trusty window wide open because of the stinch lol!!! I kept driving, wondering if dude was going all the way downtown or what cuz brother been ridin for a minute lol! When he finally did want to get off, he did not ring the bell, he just jumped up and yelled "aaay, that was my stop!" LOL I was thinking to myself "sholl WUZ cuz we done passed that one boo, you gotta pull that cord shoot I can't read yo mind!" LOL but of course I remained professional & explained that I'd GLADLY pull up to the next stop & let him out where it was safe to do so. He stood at the door just about to exit & BAM! changed his mind! He said, "aw, wait a minute, that wasn't my stop" then he sat back down! My face got long as the day is long lol! I was like you have got to be kidding me!!! lol He sat back down mumbling about something & crumpled every piece of paper that he had in his pockets! A lady passenger got on with a conversation already in progress, saying "NEXT TIME I'MMA POUR HOT ACID IN YOUR FACE!" In the words of my pastor, "Who she talking tooooo"? "ME"? I asked. She replied with a smile, "Nawww, not you. I'm talking to somebody else!" She kept fussing & went all the way to the back of the bus. I looked around to see if I was the only one in the twilight zone! What is really going on? I wanted to scream, "STOP IT, JUST STOP IT! IT IS 6 FREAKIN O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! WHO MAKES THAT MUCH NOISE AT 6 IN THE MORNING? YALL DONE GOT ON HERE, DISTURBING MY PEACE, YALL GOTS TO GO MISTA AND SISTA! I SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN STOPPED! SHOULD'VE JUST GAVE YA THE OLD LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD AS IF I NEVER EVEN SAW YA! I KNEW YALL WERE GONNA GIMME A HARD TIME!" Oooh honey baby child, my nerves was shot! LOL but, of course I said no such thing, not out loud anyway! lol Mista eventually got off at Polk Pink Line, abruptly jumping up at the last minute AGAIN, but never the less, he got off! Sista girl rode til she couldn't ride no mo' steady fussin' at the people that only she could see! There was a sigh of relief in the silence! I thought the people was gonna start clappin! This is why I pray b4 I leave home, cause like Forrest Gump say his Mama always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get!" That's the "sho nuff truth"!
Through all of this that was going on, a man was reading the Bible aloud & the passengers were all looking at him as if he was the crazy one disturbing the peace! LOL! For me, that was God's reminder that He is everywhere I am...& HE ALWAYS HAS ME COVERED! That WORD was the most comforting thing this side of creation!!! I took a deep breath & smiled! I deal with this & much more on a daily basis! If you know me personally, then you can see why I am the way I am! I got to laugh to keep from crying!!! OMG, LMBO!
This dude gets on stumbling, I give him the old head nod & quarter of a smile cuz I'm trying to figure out what he on... he fumblin for his fare, staggering & trying to hold on to an umbrella & an open cup of coffee all at the same time! He stands closer to me as to allow other passengers to get by. RED FLAG! GIMME 3 FEET! YOU'RE IN MY COMFORT ZONE!!! 9-1-1 LOL! I said (pointing) "Sir, you can sit your things OVER THERE on that counter so you can hold on while looking for your fare, the bus is about to move & I don't want you to fall!" Dude turns & looks up at me (cuz I sits high & looks low-lol) he skinnin & grinnin like a cheshire cat as if to say aww you care bout me lol! OMG! His gold teeth were tarnished so badly that I wanted to give him some CLR to clean them & he smelled like moled, very old Old Spice! Ugggh! I'm gaggin ova here, eeeew!!! I'm trying to greet everyone else to the best of my ability! I know they was wondering why dude was standing right there, cuz I sholl was wondering the same thing! My face was trying to smile, but my forehead had those worried wrinkles & my smile looked as if I was 'bout to cry! LOL Are you freakin picturin this? OMG! He finally found the transit card & put it in, "THANK YOU, now don't forget your coffee & umbrella... go on now & have a seat sir, so you don't fall" I said. He sat in the first seat behind me! Gee... great! Its cold outside & I HAVE to have the heat on, but I also HAVE to have that trusty window wide open because of the stinch lol!!! I kept driving, wondering if dude was going all the way downtown or what cuz brother been ridin for a minute lol! When he finally did want to get off, he did not ring the bell, he just jumped up and yelled "aaay, that was my stop!" LOL I was thinking to myself "sholl WUZ cuz we done passed that one boo, you gotta pull that cord shoot I can't read yo mind!" LOL but of course I remained professional & explained that I'd GLADLY pull up to the next stop & let him out where it was safe to do so. He stood at the door just about to exit & BAM! changed his mind! He said, "aw, wait a minute, that wasn't my stop" then he sat back down! My face got long as the day is long lol! I was like you have got to be kidding me!!! lol He sat back down mumbling about something & crumpled every piece of paper that he had in his pockets! A lady passenger got on with a conversation already in progress, saying "NEXT TIME I'MMA POUR HOT ACID IN YOUR FACE!" In the words of my pastor, "Who she talking tooooo"? "ME"? I asked. She replied with a smile, "Nawww, not you. I'm talking to somebody else!" She kept fussing & went all the way to the back of the bus. I looked around to see if I was the only one in the twilight zone! What is really going on? I wanted to scream, "STOP IT, JUST STOP IT! IT IS 6 FREAKIN O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! WHO MAKES THAT MUCH NOISE AT 6 IN THE MORNING? YALL DONE GOT ON HERE, DISTURBING MY PEACE, YALL GOTS TO GO MISTA AND SISTA! I SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN STOPPED! SHOULD'VE JUST GAVE YA THE OLD LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD AS IF I NEVER EVEN SAW YA! I KNEW YALL WERE GONNA GIMME A HARD TIME!" Oooh honey baby child, my nerves was shot! LOL but, of course I said no such thing, not out loud anyway! lol Mista eventually got off at Polk Pink Line, abruptly jumping up at the last minute AGAIN, but never the less, he got off! Sista girl rode til she couldn't ride no mo' steady fussin' at the people that only she could see! There was a sigh of relief in the silence! I thought the people was gonna start clappin! This is why I pray b4 I leave home, cause like Forrest Gump say his Mama always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get!" That's the "sho nuff truth"!
Through all of this that was going on, a man was reading the Bible aloud & the passengers were all looking at him as if he was the crazy one disturbing the peace! LOL! For me, that was God's reminder that He is everywhere I am...& HE ALWAYS HAS ME COVERED! That WORD was the most comforting thing this side of creation!!! I took a deep breath & smiled! I deal with this & much more on a daily basis! If you know me personally, then you can see why I am the way I am! I got to laugh to keep from crying!!! OMG, LMBO!
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version
A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
OH MY!!!! That was funny as HELL!!! You have a way of painting a visual picture! I swear as I reading it I was seeing it from a seat as a passenger. LOL....and that says a lot cuz I ain't rode the bus in almost 20 years LOL
ReplyDelete