Times of Covenant
11 years ago
Monday, March 11, 2013
Cursing Jokes...Funnier or Not?
Ever been to a comedy club & all the comedians use vulgar language & swear words to get their point across? Does it make you laugh a little harder when they curse? For some, it doesn't bother them at all, but for others it kind of takes away from the fun.
I love to laugh & sometimes the stuff just rolls out without me even trying! I remember being facetious & to be honest, it was better sounding with a swear word, but I wasn't trying to "cuss" as we call it! Oddly enough, it made the hearers shake their heads at me, but they laughed even harder! When it was done in this light, I didn't feel bad at all...it was all in fun! But if I ever used profanity out of anger, I'd get convicted in the worse way! Hmph! Go figure! I still prefer to keep it clean & not use swear words. So I kinda use replacement words instead! Fillers, if you will! See examples below:
OOOH! THAT MICKEY MOUSE GET ON MY NERVES!
SHUT YO PLEGGED TAIL FACE!
KISS MY KUNTA KINTAE TOBY KIZZIE!!!
These seem to keep me from cussin' & satisfies my need to get someone told! LOL I know, I know...crazy, right? HA!
I'll take this over the filth flarn flyin' filth that I hear on a regular basis!!! When I listen to too much vulgarity & swearing, it vexes my spirit. I mix & mingle with all walks of life so I have to learn how to filter through the conversation!
I go somewhere else in my mind when it gets too bad or I just excuse myself. I've even asked them if they absolutely positively have to talk like that? And they'll apologize & say they didn't even realize they were cussin'! WoW! For some, it's just second nature! But, I still listen to them, best I can! Here's an example of my mental escape during one of the foul language conversations: (I replaced curse words with capitalized fillers as I listen to people)
"That MILLIONAIRE think he's the SHOW & if he don't shut the HELICOPTER up bragging 'bout all he got I'm gon' bust him in his MILLION DOLLAR mouth!"
The original way it was said was pretty offensive, but you've gotta meet people right where they are! I used to curse, not a lot, but I did it. Mostly being funny! Not really much of an angry curser! And trust me, I should know, because I've been plenty angry!
I hear it a lot at work & try to ignore it! I don't hear it at home, none of my close friends I talk to on a regular basis curse-so that's a relief & I don't hear it at church (thank God!) LOL Now THAT would be funny!!! Sad, but funny!!! LOL
I remember having my buttons pushed & I lit into that person like a match ignites weed! He had never heard me talk like that before! The look on his face was priceless! I later apologized for the WAY I said it, but made sure he knew I MEANT what I said! LOL
In a comedy arena, some curse words just fit! I can't even lie LOL! Ebonics cussin' is even funnier! LOL
Just a random thought! No point, rhyme or reason to this post! But, since I brought it up...
Are you an angry curser? A joking curser? A depressed curser? A curser during sex? (Um, please don't act like you didn't know people curse & talk filthy during sex!) A passionate curser? A mental Curser? A sympathetic curser? A mumble it under your breath curser? Or are you A CLOSET CURSER? LOL OH, IF I COULD BE A FLY ON THE MICKEY MOUSE WALL I'D BE ABLE TO LAY ALL YOUR SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS BARE!!! LOL
FOR THE RECORD, NO, I DO NOT LIKE TO CURSE!!! LOL
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version
A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
It's been months since my last post, but not since my last hearty laugh, that's for sure! So much has happened since I last posted, I don't even know where to begin...
Wanna read something funny? Of course you do, that's why you're here on the OMG, LMBO Blog, lol! Let's see if we can't get you to ROTF too, while you're CTHU! (oh my gosh. rolling on the floor, laughing my butt off, cracking the heck up!) for those who don't know! ;-)
Are any of yous on Facebook? Ever noticed the great looking men to the >>>right? Do yous think their real? I mean, they look top modelishy!!! (my own word)
Did I make you laugh???
Ohhh kaaaay, so, maybe not! LOL...Hey, what do you people want from me? It's 1:40am! GO TO BED! Now laugh at that! hahahaha
Blame it on sleep deprivation! The more tired I am, the sillier I get! :-) Besides, I just needed to post "SOMETHING" on here so you'd know I'm still alive & kickin! Just in case anybody reads these things!
Sorry for leaving you hanging! Welp, always remember...LAUGH until a little pee squirts out!!! LMBO
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Wanna read something funny? Of course you do, that's why you're here on the OMG, LMBO Blog, lol! Let's see if we can't get you to ROTF too, while you're CTHU! (oh my gosh. rolling on the floor, laughing my butt off, cracking the heck up!) for those who don't know! ;-)
Are any of yous on Facebook? Ever noticed the great looking men to the >>>right? Do yous think their real? I mean, they look top modelishy!!! (my own word)
Did I make you laugh???
Ohhh kaaaay, so, maybe not! LOL...Hey, what do you people want from me? It's 1:40am! GO TO BED! Now laugh at that! hahahaha
Blame it on sleep deprivation! The more tired I am, the sillier I get! :-) Besides, I just needed to post "SOMETHING" on here so you'd know I'm still alive & kickin! Just in case anybody reads these things!
Sorry for leaving you hanging! Welp, always remember...LAUGH until a little pee squirts out!!! LMBO
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Monday, January 10, 2011
My Doggie, Amour!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I HOPE YOU'VE LAUGHED OUT THE OLD & LAUGHED IN THE NEW!
Some amazing things have taken place in my house, but one of the most funny is my dog, Amour! Imagine a Daschund, which is a long hot dog with a bid chest that droops low toward the ground & a Chihuahua (Chiwawa), which has big eyes & very pointy ears. Now, picture them MIXED TOGETHER LOL & THAT'S MY DOGGIE, AMOUR! LOL
Mourie has the longest neck I have ever seen on a dog & her fur is beautiful & shiny black with a little brown & a hint of white. She is a slender lap dog who swears that she is a human baby! When she is cold, she either goes right to the heat vent or under 2 folded comforters! She burrows herself under any cover she can! She prefers to sleep with one of us, but if she can't she will sleep near us with her pillow & comforter. Once, I let her sleep at the foot of my bed & when I woke up, she was SPOONING with me! LOL She was on my pillow, under my cover, side by side with her paws on me as if she wanted to put them around me! I JUMPED UP & SAID, "AMOUR? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" LOL She looked at me with those big brown eyes as if to say, "WHAT? What's the matter mommy?" HILARIOUS! I have since stopped her from sleeping in my bed! But, she rules the couch & chair in the living room! If I fall asleep on the couch, which I have been known to do, she snuggles up near me. When my children hug me good night or good morning, Amour throws a fit! She cries & barks, looks very worried as if I am in danger & tries to get between us! When I touch their hand before they leave for school, she has a tantrum as if to say, "DON'T TOUCH MY MAMA!" LOL We have all explained to her that sh is an animal & that I gave birth to these children & we all love her, but she still does it! My kids say she is very jealous & over protective! They say, "MOMMIE, YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE!" That cracks me up, because it really does seem that way! When I sleep, she sleeps! When I move, she moves! She calms down, once they show her some love too, but she still will be in between my hugs with them unless I hold her off with one arm or go in a room where she can't get to us! OMG! Her tail wags & she is a happy dog, she just thinks she is human! She even poops in the bathroom right near the toilet! But, that's just if she can't make it outside. She will not be walked on a leash, she will go out back & run around, or in front, but not off of our block unless we drive her or carry her! She enjoys jumping in the car for rides with us! I carry her to the park, but she runs ALL THE WAY HOME in a very desperate manner! After one week of having her, I realized she knows exactly where we live! She was waiting on the porch to get in when I caught up with her! LOL I wish I could post her growling & barking at the people walking by our window, the growl is so long that she winds up yawning in between! IT IS TOO FUNNY!
Amour is now 1 year old & has had a 4 week cycle & her boobs are huge now! She has always had thinning hair on each side near her ears, but now its really balding, I guess she says to herself, "these people done worried the mess out of me!" LOL
Amour makes us laugh, she is such a pleasure to have around! She sits at my side while I write with one paw on my keyboard! When it's picture or video time, she always strikes a pose or holds still for me! We have an understanding! She's like a little baby & those ears! LOL She cries when we leave & she wags her tail uncontrollably when we come home! So much so, that her hind paws slide across the floor back & forth, I guess it's safe to say that she missed us something wicked huh? LOL
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Some amazing things have taken place in my house, but one of the most funny is my dog, Amour! Imagine a Daschund, which is a long hot dog with a bid chest that droops low toward the ground & a Chihuahua (Chiwawa), which has big eyes & very pointy ears. Now, picture them MIXED TOGETHER LOL & THAT'S MY DOGGIE, AMOUR! LOL
Mourie has the longest neck I have ever seen on a dog & her fur is beautiful & shiny black with a little brown & a hint of white. She is a slender lap dog who swears that she is a human baby! When she is cold, she either goes right to the heat vent or under 2 folded comforters! She burrows herself under any cover she can! She prefers to sleep with one of us, but if she can't she will sleep near us with her pillow & comforter. Once, I let her sleep at the foot of my bed & when I woke up, she was SPOONING with me! LOL She was on my pillow, under my cover, side by side with her paws on me as if she wanted to put them around me! I JUMPED UP & SAID, "AMOUR? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" LOL She looked at me with those big brown eyes as if to say, "WHAT? What's the matter mommy?" HILARIOUS! I have since stopped her from sleeping in my bed! But, she rules the couch & chair in the living room! If I fall asleep on the couch, which I have been known to do, she snuggles up near me. When my children hug me good night or good morning, Amour throws a fit! She cries & barks, looks very worried as if I am in danger & tries to get between us! When I touch their hand before they leave for school, she has a tantrum as if to say, "DON'T TOUCH MY MAMA!" LOL We have all explained to her that sh is an animal & that I gave birth to these children & we all love her, but she still does it! My kids say she is very jealous & over protective! They say, "MOMMIE, YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE!" That cracks me up, because it really does seem that way! When I sleep, she sleeps! When I move, she moves! She calms down, once they show her some love too, but she still will be in between my hugs with them unless I hold her off with one arm or go in a room where she can't get to us! OMG! Her tail wags & she is a happy dog, she just thinks she is human! She even poops in the bathroom right near the toilet! But, that's just if she can't make it outside. She will not be walked on a leash, she will go out back & run around, or in front, but not off of our block unless we drive her or carry her! She enjoys jumping in the car for rides with us! I carry her to the park, but she runs ALL THE WAY HOME in a very desperate manner! After one week of having her, I realized she knows exactly where we live! She was waiting on the porch to get in when I caught up with her! LOL I wish I could post her growling & barking at the people walking by our window, the growl is so long that she winds up yawning in between! IT IS TOO FUNNY!
Amour is now 1 year old & has had a 4 week cycle & her boobs are huge now! She has always had thinning hair on each side near her ears, but now its really balding, I guess she says to herself, "these people done worried the mess out of me!" LOL
Amour makes us laugh, she is such a pleasure to have around! She sits at my side while I write with one paw on my keyboard! When it's picture or video time, she always strikes a pose or holds still for me! We have an understanding! She's like a little baby & those ears! LOL She cries when we leave & she wags her tail uncontrollably when we come home! So much so, that her hind paws slide across the floor back & forth, I guess it's safe to say that she missed us something wicked huh? LOL
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Not This One Too!!!
OK, for real tho, ya gotta be kidding me, right? So...I'm excited about what God is doing in my life, my dreams are coming to fruition, only this time, I'M ACTUALLY AWAKE! LOL God has blessed me to be in the right places at the right times to meet the right people who are connected to my destiny! He has assured me over & over that I have the KEY TO DISCOVER MY SUCCESS WITHIN! (you're probably thinking, "ok, but, this iain't funny, it should be on the Family & Friends Cafe blog)
Well, its funny alright, because I'm scurrying about to get ready for physical therapy of my left leg when DOWN the stairs I step & BAM! Right foot, all twisted upon contact of the floor & a shoe!!! LOL Why am I laughing? Well, because, its my right ankle...on the way to physical therapy... for my left extremity...which I hurt going UP the stairs at work! LOL Do ya get it? Its hilarious to me, because I can literally see the enemy at work trying to block me on every side & when it doesn't work, he gets mad & tries something else! I laugh, because I can literally see THE HAND OF GOD IN MY LIFE, ON ME, COVERING ME & PROTECTING ME, so even though the weapons are formed, they SHALL NOT prosper! I AM CTHU! (cracking the heck up) I'M GIDDY FROM ALL THE CIRCLES THE LORD IS RUNNING AROUND my enemy! HAHAHAHAHAHA I can laugh in the face of adversity...and so can you! ROTFLMBO!!!
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Well, its funny alright, because I'm scurrying about to get ready for physical therapy of my left leg when DOWN the stairs I step & BAM! Right foot, all twisted upon contact of the floor & a shoe!!! LOL Why am I laughing? Well, because, its my right ankle...on the way to physical therapy... for my left extremity...which I hurt going UP the stairs at work! LOL Do ya get it? Its hilarious to me, because I can literally see the enemy at work trying to block me on every side & when it doesn't work, he gets mad & tries something else! I laugh, because I can literally see THE HAND OF GOD IN MY LIFE, ON ME, COVERING ME & PROTECTING ME, so even though the weapons are formed, they SHALL NOT prosper! I AM CTHU! (cracking the heck up) I'M GIDDY FROM ALL THE CIRCLES THE LORD IS RUNNING AROUND my enemy! HAHAHAHAHAHA I can laugh in the face of adversity...and so can you! ROTFLMBO!!!
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
CTHU
CTHU means Cracking The Heck Up! At least that's my version, of it! LOL
I just read thru some of these posts & I was LITERALLY CTHU as if I had never seen it before! I love when God gives me something, because I enjoy it just as much (if not more) as other people may enjoy it! Like I stepped outside of my body & watch me type this stuff!
Mark this day on your calendar...HISTORY WAS MADE! This is the shortest blog I've ever written! LOL (for my email audience, please click the blog title at the bottom of your email to see all the blogs posted to this account).
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
I just read thru some of these posts & I was LITERALLY CTHU as if I had never seen it before! I love when God gives me something, because I enjoy it just as much (if not more) as other people may enjoy it! Like I stepped outside of my body & watch me type this stuff!
Mark this day on your calendar...HISTORY WAS MADE! This is the shortest blog I've ever written! LOL (for my email audience, please click the blog title at the bottom of your email to see all the blogs posted to this account).
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Monday, October 25, 2010
I GOTTA LAUGH TO KEEP FROM CRYING!
OMG! Has it been a whole year? I just looked at the date of my last entry on here & I can NOT BELIEVE IT WAS A YEAR AGO, ALMOST TO THE DAY! That ain't even funny...THAT'S SAD!!! I done sat up here in a depressed state & didn't even know it! My body was aching all over, sometimes I wouldn't eat at all & other times I'd commit gluttony(sin of over eating)! I was only doing enough to get by, the bare minimum! I was up, down & all around! Sometimes I wanted to be bothered & other times I didn't! I kept seeing that commercial..."where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE! Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE! Cymbalta can help... then it stated about 100 side affects that made it seem like I'd be better off just staying depressed! LOL That's crazy!!! LOL I've been through some things, heavy hitters, but not enough to make me be depressed or oppressed for years, at least I didn't think so!
I'm not making fun of depressed people or people who take meds for it, I'm just talking about me!!! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO ME? How long have I actually been this way? Could it still be post partum depression? Surely not...my baby is 10 YEARS OLD for pete's sake! LOL, it can't last THAT long, can it? LOL I don't get it, I was always laughing at myself, someone or something when I was out, but curled up in the fetal position, covered up, feeling blue when I got home! EVERYDAY AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A RAINY LIFETIME MOVIE DAY!!! There were a lot of times when I didn't even want to go out, not with friends or family, nobody!!! I knew something was wrong, but I didn't understand how I could be that way when, gosh darn it, I'M A CHILD OF THE KING!!! I'M A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH! I'M DESTINED FOR GREATNESS! I'M ON A MISSION FOR THE LORD!!! Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! I had an AH HA moment, I realized...THAT'S IT! I'M A TARGET! LOL
Well, I have had good days & enjoyable times, I have not been down all the time, but I told my 2 besties that I knew I could be collecting a check for what I was going through! LOL At times, I felt nuttier than a fruitcake! LOL I'm talking about me, not nobody else, 'cept me! So, please don't be offended! In my aspiring career, I'd surely fit right in!!! Lots of great people in the limelight have suffered from depression & been targets, needing therapy and or medication, etc. Anyone who knows me, should know just what I mean!
I HAVE TRULY FOUND LAUGHTER TO BE ALL THE MEDICINE I NEED! GOD HAS PLACED IT IN ME, I CAN'T RUN FROM IT NOR DO I WANT TO! THE CHURCH I ATTEND IS A GODSEND, MY PASTOR IS HIGHLY ANOINTED, BUT HILARIOUS AT THE SAME TIME! EVERY WEEK I GET CONFIRMATIONS & POSITIVE SPIRITUAL FOOD, WISDOM IMPARTED UPON ME! THE ENERGY THERE IS THROUGH THE ROOF & THERE IS NO WAY I CAN SIT UNDER GOD'S ANOINTING & LEAVE THE SAME WAY I CAME! I ALWAYS PRAY THAT GOD OPEN MY EARS TO HEAR HIM & THAT I LEAVE BETTER THAN WHEN I CAME! GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!
I have started back writing, acting & facebook has become one of my platforms for ministry! I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT WHAT GOD IS DOING! I'VE BEEN DELIVERED FROM THE SPIRIT OF DEPRESSION, PRAISE GOD! Where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE! Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE! JESUS CAN HELP!!!
ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF, BECAUSE I'M ELATED TO BE FREE!!! I GOT AWAY!!! YAAAAY!!!
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
I'm not making fun of depressed people or people who take meds for it, I'm just talking about me!!! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO ME? How long have I actually been this way? Could it still be post partum depression? Surely not...my baby is 10 YEARS OLD for pete's sake! LOL, it can't last THAT long, can it? LOL I don't get it, I was always laughing at myself, someone or something when I was out, but curled up in the fetal position, covered up, feeling blue when I got home! EVERYDAY AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A RAINY LIFETIME MOVIE DAY!!! There were a lot of times when I didn't even want to go out, not with friends or family, nobody!!! I knew something was wrong, but I didn't understand how I could be that way when, gosh darn it, I'M A CHILD OF THE KING!!! I'M A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH! I'M DESTINED FOR GREATNESS! I'M ON A MISSION FOR THE LORD!!! Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! I had an AH HA moment, I realized...THAT'S IT! I'M A TARGET! LOL
Well, I have had good days & enjoyable times, I have not been down all the time, but I told my 2 besties that I knew I could be collecting a check for what I was going through! LOL At times, I felt nuttier than a fruitcake! LOL I'm talking about me, not nobody else, 'cept me! So, please don't be offended! In my aspiring career, I'd surely fit right in!!! Lots of great people in the limelight have suffered from depression & been targets, needing therapy and or medication, etc. Anyone who knows me, should know just what I mean!
I HAVE TRULY FOUND LAUGHTER TO BE ALL THE MEDICINE I NEED! GOD HAS PLACED IT IN ME, I CAN'T RUN FROM IT NOR DO I WANT TO! THE CHURCH I ATTEND IS A GODSEND, MY PASTOR IS HIGHLY ANOINTED, BUT HILARIOUS AT THE SAME TIME! EVERY WEEK I GET CONFIRMATIONS & POSITIVE SPIRITUAL FOOD, WISDOM IMPARTED UPON ME! THE ENERGY THERE IS THROUGH THE ROOF & THERE IS NO WAY I CAN SIT UNDER GOD'S ANOINTING & LEAVE THE SAME WAY I CAME! I ALWAYS PRAY THAT GOD OPEN MY EARS TO HEAR HIM & THAT I LEAVE BETTER THAN WHEN I CAME! GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!
I have started back writing, acting & facebook has become one of my platforms for ministry! I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT WHAT GOD IS DOING! I'VE BEEN DELIVERED FROM THE SPIRIT OF DEPRESSION, PRAISE GOD! Where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE! Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE! JESUS CAN HELP!!!
ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF, BECAUSE I'M ELATED TO BE FREE!!! I GOT AWAY!!! YAAAAY!!!
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
YAAAY! I'M BAAAACK!!!
HELLO EVERYONE! HAVE YOU BEEN LAUGHING??? Well, I've been a bit depressed, but I NEVER STOPPED LAUGHING INSIDE!!! I was pretty pathetic while I was down, but I CAN SURE LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW!!! THAT'S A GREAT THING! :) BRINGS FORTH HEALING!!!
Ok, so... I have had sooo many funny moments & could not share them with you because I FREAKIN' FORGOT WHAT EMAIL ADDRESS I USED TO CREATE THIS BLOG!!! LOL I wanted to log on, but couldn't! :( Can you believe that? It's crazy right? I've been bursting at the seams because I need to get all of this stuff out & my blog is the best way for me to that until I can get on somebody's stage!!! (hint, hint to any scouts out there) I use laughter as my medicine & I love to share that joy, but not being able to causes me to me down in the dumps! I had to go thru this whole 'google recovery thingy', but thank God I finally have my 4 blogs back! I've missed you all, my world wide web peeps! LOL
Guess what...I WROTE ALL OF MY EMAIL ADDRESSES & PASSWORDS & BLOG ADDRESSES DOWN & CONNECTED THEM SO THERE IS ONLY 1 PASSWORD TO REMEMBER!!! GOOD STUFF HUH? :)
Meanwhile, back on the ranch...I finally jumped on the Facebook wagon, YES...ME, a person who swore it was the antiChrist lol & I very recently created a website! Yeah, I must be fancy huh? LOL I KNOW RIGHT? This is great for people who have a lot inside that needs to come out at any given moment! Especially great for shy people who can't flow in front of crowds! Also, great for people who are hurting...MY WRITING IS THERAPEUTIC FOR ME & HOPEFULLY IT HELPS OTHERS IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!!
Ok y'all, until next time... LAUGH, LAUGH & LAUGH SOME MORE, ON PURPOSE, OUT LOUD!!! GO AHEAD, JOIN ME because Oh My God, I AM now Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Butt Off!!! :-)
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Ok, so... I have had sooo many funny moments & could not share them with you because I FREAKIN' FORGOT WHAT EMAIL ADDRESS I USED TO CREATE THIS BLOG!!! LOL I wanted to log on, but couldn't! :( Can you believe that? It's crazy right? I've been bursting at the seams because I need to get all of this stuff out & my blog is the best way for me to that until I can get on somebody's stage!!! (hint, hint to any scouts out there) I use laughter as my medicine & I love to share that joy, but not being able to causes me to me down in the dumps! I had to go thru this whole 'google recovery thingy', but thank God I finally have my 4 blogs back! I've missed you all, my world wide web peeps! LOL
Guess what...I WROTE ALL OF MY EMAIL ADDRESSES & PASSWORDS & BLOG ADDRESSES DOWN & CONNECTED THEM SO THERE IS ONLY 1 PASSWORD TO REMEMBER!!! GOOD STUFF HUH? :)
Meanwhile, back on the ranch...I finally jumped on the Facebook wagon, YES...ME, a person who swore it was the antiChrist lol & I very recently created a website! Yeah, I must be fancy huh? LOL I KNOW RIGHT? This is great for people who have a lot inside that needs to come out at any given moment! Especially great for shy people who can't flow in front of crowds! Also, great for people who are hurting...MY WRITING IS THERAPEUTIC FOR ME & HOPEFULLY IT HELPS OTHERS IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!!
Ok y'all, until next time... LAUGH, LAUGH & LAUGH SOME MORE, ON PURPOSE, OUT LOUD!!! GO AHEAD, JOIN ME because Oh My God, I AM now Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Butt Off!!! :-)
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Just When I thought I'd Seen It All...
Ok yall, its been a minute, but the funniest things have been happening & I have not had the time to sit down long enough to tell you about them! (sorry) I will do better!
Ok, so, PICTURE IT... I'm on my bus, regular route but a different day... I approached a stop on Harrison around California... I see a lot of familiar faces, but one I had never seen before was standing out there looking like a character off of the Starsky & Hutch show (memba that? lol)! I had to do a doubletake to see if it was Huggie Bear! Could have passed for Lenny off of Good Times or Romie Rome from Martin! OMG, LMBO! His hair looked just like a sweated out perm, reminded me of James Brown after one of his shows! If you don't know any of these people I am referring to then this might not seem funny to you at all! But if you do, then you should be crackin the heck up as you picture this whole scenario!
This dude gets on stumbling, I give him the old head nod & quarter of a smile cuz I'm trying to figure out what he on... he fumblin for his fare, staggering & trying to hold on to an umbrella & an open cup of coffee all at the same time! He stands closer to me as to allow other passengers to get by. RED FLAG! GIMME 3 FEET! YOU'RE IN MY COMFORT ZONE!!! 9-1-1 LOL! I said (pointing) "Sir, you can sit your things OVER THERE on that counter so you can hold on while looking for your fare, the bus is about to move & I don't want you to fall!" Dude turns & looks up at me (cuz I sits high & looks low-lol) he skinnin & grinnin like a cheshire cat as if to say aww you care bout me lol! OMG! His gold teeth were tarnished so badly that I wanted to give him some CLR to clean them & he smelled like moled, very old Old Spice! Ugggh! I'm gaggin ova here, eeeew!!! I'm trying to greet everyone else to the best of my ability! I know they was wondering why dude was standing right there, cuz I sholl was wondering the same thing! My face was trying to smile, but my forehead had those worried wrinkles & my smile looked as if I was 'bout to cry! LOL Are you freakin picturin this? OMG! He finally found the transit card & put it in, "THANK YOU, now don't forget your coffee & umbrella... go on now & have a seat sir, so you don't fall" I said. He sat in the first seat behind me! Gee... great! Its cold outside & I HAVE to have the heat on, but I also HAVE to have that trusty window wide open because of the stinch lol!!! I kept driving, wondering if dude was going all the way downtown or what cuz brother been ridin for a minute lol! When he finally did want to get off, he did not ring the bell, he just jumped up and yelled "aaay, that was my stop!" LOL I was thinking to myself "sholl WUZ cuz we done passed that one boo, you gotta pull that cord shoot I can't read yo mind!" LOL but of course I remained professional & explained that I'd GLADLY pull up to the next stop & let him out where it was safe to do so. He stood at the door just about to exit & BAM! changed his mind! He said, "aw, wait a minute, that wasn't my stop" then he sat back down! My face got long as the day is long lol! I was like you have got to be kidding me!!! lol He sat back down mumbling about something & crumpled every piece of paper that he had in his pockets! A lady passenger got on with a conversation already in progress, saying "NEXT TIME I'MMA POUR HOT ACID IN YOUR FACE!" In the words of my pastor, "Who she talking tooooo"? "ME"? I asked. She replied with a smile, "Nawww, not you. I'm talking to somebody else!" She kept fussing & went all the way to the back of the bus. I looked around to see if I was the only one in the twilight zone! What is really going on? I wanted to scream, "STOP IT, JUST STOP IT! IT IS 6 FREAKIN O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! WHO MAKES THAT MUCH NOISE AT 6 IN THE MORNING? YALL DONE GOT ON HERE, DISTURBING MY PEACE, YALL GOTS TO GO MISTA AND SISTA! I SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN STOPPED! SHOULD'VE JUST GAVE YA THE OLD LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD AS IF I NEVER EVEN SAW YA! I KNEW YALL WERE GONNA GIMME A HARD TIME!" Oooh honey baby child, my nerves was shot! LOL but, of course I said no such thing, not out loud anyway! lol Mista eventually got off at Polk Pink Line, abruptly jumping up at the last minute AGAIN, but never the less, he got off! Sista girl rode til she couldn't ride no mo' steady fussin' at the people that only she could see! There was a sigh of relief in the silence! I thought the people was gonna start clappin! This is why I pray b4 I leave home, cause like Forrest Gump say his Mama always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get!" That's the "sho nuff truth"!
Through all of this that was going on, a man was reading the Bible aloud & the passengers were all looking at him as if he was the crazy one disturbing the peace! LOL! For me, that was God's reminder that He is everywhere I am...& HE ALWAYS HAS ME COVERED! That WORD was the most comforting thing this side of creation!!! I took a deep breath & smiled! I deal with this & much more on a daily basis! If you know me personally, then you can see why I am the way I am! I got to laugh to keep from crying!!! OMG, LMBO!
This dude gets on stumbling, I give him the old head nod & quarter of a smile cuz I'm trying to figure out what he on... he fumblin for his fare, staggering & trying to hold on to an umbrella & an open cup of coffee all at the same time! He stands closer to me as to allow other passengers to get by. RED FLAG! GIMME 3 FEET! YOU'RE IN MY COMFORT ZONE!!! 9-1-1 LOL! I said (pointing) "Sir, you can sit your things OVER THERE on that counter so you can hold on while looking for your fare, the bus is about to move & I don't want you to fall!" Dude turns & looks up at me (cuz I sits high & looks low-lol) he skinnin & grinnin like a cheshire cat as if to say aww you care bout me lol! OMG! His gold teeth were tarnished so badly that I wanted to give him some CLR to clean them & he smelled like moled, very old Old Spice! Ugggh! I'm gaggin ova here, eeeew!!! I'm trying to greet everyone else to the best of my ability! I know they was wondering why dude was standing right there, cuz I sholl was wondering the same thing! My face was trying to smile, but my forehead had those worried wrinkles & my smile looked as if I was 'bout to cry! LOL Are you freakin picturin this? OMG! He finally found the transit card & put it in, "THANK YOU, now don't forget your coffee & umbrella... go on now & have a seat sir, so you don't fall" I said. He sat in the first seat behind me! Gee... great! Its cold outside & I HAVE to have the heat on, but I also HAVE to have that trusty window wide open because of the stinch lol!!! I kept driving, wondering if dude was going all the way downtown or what cuz brother been ridin for a minute lol! When he finally did want to get off, he did not ring the bell, he just jumped up and yelled "aaay, that was my stop!" LOL I was thinking to myself "sholl WUZ cuz we done passed that one boo, you gotta pull that cord shoot I can't read yo mind!" LOL but of course I remained professional & explained that I'd GLADLY pull up to the next stop & let him out where it was safe to do so. He stood at the door just about to exit & BAM! changed his mind! He said, "aw, wait a minute, that wasn't my stop" then he sat back down! My face got long as the day is long lol! I was like you have got to be kidding me!!! lol He sat back down mumbling about something & crumpled every piece of paper that he had in his pockets! A lady passenger got on with a conversation already in progress, saying "NEXT TIME I'MMA POUR HOT ACID IN YOUR FACE!" In the words of my pastor, "Who she talking tooooo"? "ME"? I asked. She replied with a smile, "Nawww, not you. I'm talking to somebody else!" She kept fussing & went all the way to the back of the bus. I looked around to see if I was the only one in the twilight zone! What is really going on? I wanted to scream, "STOP IT, JUST STOP IT! IT IS 6 FREAKIN O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! WHO MAKES THAT MUCH NOISE AT 6 IN THE MORNING? YALL DONE GOT ON HERE, DISTURBING MY PEACE, YALL GOTS TO GO MISTA AND SISTA! I SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN STOPPED! SHOULD'VE JUST GAVE YA THE OLD LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD AS IF I NEVER EVEN SAW YA! I KNEW YALL WERE GONNA GIMME A HARD TIME!" Oooh honey baby child, my nerves was shot! LOL but, of course I said no such thing, not out loud anyway! lol Mista eventually got off at Polk Pink Line, abruptly jumping up at the last minute AGAIN, but never the less, he got off! Sista girl rode til she couldn't ride no mo' steady fussin' at the people that only she could see! There was a sigh of relief in the silence! I thought the people was gonna start clappin! This is why I pray b4 I leave home, cause like Forrest Gump say his Mama always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get!" That's the "sho nuff truth"!
Through all of this that was going on, a man was reading the Bible aloud & the passengers were all looking at him as if he was the crazy one disturbing the peace! LOL! For me, that was God's reminder that He is everywhere I am...& HE ALWAYS HAS ME COVERED! That WORD was the most comforting thing this side of creation!!! I took a deep breath & smiled! I deal with this & much more on a daily basis! If you know me personally, then you can see why I am the way I am! I got to laugh to keep from crying!!! OMG, LMBO!
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version
A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Through The Eyes Of My Child!
WHAT A HAPPY FRIDAY!
Child #4 came running in from the backyard, so excited, "Maaaaa, hey Maaa", he yelled. I thought something was wrong! "What is it?", I asked.
His voice fluctuated up & down as he described his new pet in a run on sentence! LOL, it seems he never even took a breath! "Ma, I called for a squirrel to come to me! "Come here boy, come here & guess what Ma, HE CAME! (I tried to jump in with a response) "He did?" "Uh huh & Ma, I named him FOOTBALL cuz you know I love playing football! Ma, I FED HIM A CRACKER that I had in my pocket &"... I managed to break in & ask "what was a cracker doing in your pocket?" "I had it from before!" Before when? "Earlier in school, we had snacks Maaa." You didn't hand it to him did ya? "Nooo Maaa, I put it on the ground right in front of me!" (he was getting frustrated that I kept interrupting his flow. lol) Oh, ok, continue! "Maaaa guess what, HE SAT THERE & ate it RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY VERY EYES!!! He was SOOO CLOSE to me! My brother was scared out of his mind cuz Football looked at him funny, but I wasn't scared Ma! Isn't that AWESOME Ma, huh?" Ye... (tried to answer, but he cut me off with his excitement! lol)" You shoulda seen him Ma, he was beautiful! He's brown with a grey tail! His tail had like a spiral pattern & it was all bushy & puffy! Do you think he will come back Ma, huh? Have you ever seen a squirrel's tail Ma?" (He's letting me talk now while he catches his breath! lol) Sure, but I never really paid any attention sweetie. WOW, you've got a way with the animals huh? That's pretty neat, but, you be careful out there! Don't get too close to that thing... "MAAAA?", he moaned, disappointed that I referred to his new pet as a thing! I mean, don't get too close to "Football" baby, I don't want him to nibble on you, ya hear? "Ok Ma", he went running back outside shouting "I hope he comes back EVERYDAY! I can't wait to get to school to tell all of my friends that I've got a new pet squirrel that I named FOOTBALL! Sweeeeeeeeet!"
That was so funny to me! He talked about his experience all night! It doesn't take much to please a child! They're so innocent & pure! I love & cherish moments like this! I don't want to take anything for granted! Let us take pleasure in all of God's beautiful creations!
Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Version
A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
A Day In The Life Of ME!
Ahhhh, I've been waiting for so long to write about the hillarious stuff that happens to me on a daily basis! I will be sharing some pretty embarrassing moments with you! My only hope is that you laugh, laugh & laugh some more!
Life is... what you make it? Life is... grand? Life is... too short? Life is ... like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get? There are many sayings about life! But out of all the things that has happened in my life, including the good, bad & the ugly, I can't bring myself to say this one - Life... stinks!
Life is... what you make it? Life is... grand? Life is... too short? Life is ... like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get? There are many sayings about life! But out of all the things that has happened in my life, including the good, bad & the ugly, I can't bring myself to say this one - Life... stinks!
I'd like to think more positively & say Life is... what you make it! And I choose to make it fun! Sure, I've cried more than my fair share of tears, but then I find humor in it! Even the saddest of situations, eventually wind up funny to me! What? I don't think there's anything is wrong with that! LMBO!
Well, one tragic thing did happen to me on yesterday. It started out great! My good friend & 3 of her children came over & my 4 children & I all went to the back to school party to enjoy movies in the park. As I sat nestled with my feet up in my royal lawn chair, a bug flew in my eye! I immediately began to bat my eye fast (something my mom taught me when I was little) and I tried not to rub it, but it was hard not to! My natural reflex of tears falling began & I was praying that the bug would be flushed out immediately, but it wasn't! I could feel my eye swelling! I rushed home to use a very small glass to flush my eye out with slightly warm water & when I looked in the mirror I almost screamed! To my surprise, my reflection was not the same one I woke up with! I looked like the character Sophia from The Color Purple Movie after she was hit in the eye with the butt of a handgun! I was cracking up with laughter as I quoted the exact lines from Sophia! I know it like the back of my hand, its one of my all time favorite movies!
Just when you thought I was done, there's more! I was born with what some call a lazy eye. My left eyeball drifts to the corner sometimes. Not a whole lot but I notice it! When I am really tired, my left eye seems slightly smaller than the right! Now, what used to be my "GOOD EYE" is bad! Heeey, what do ya know... now I have a matching set! OMGLMBO! (Oh My God, Laughing My Butt Off)
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